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	"30 Lives" Video
	Boys Suck Advice

Ambes wrote:

Hello there! I am a guy who has suffered a lot from being abused by bad guys, so I want to become a REAL ninja. please tell me how?

From: TheSleepwalker - 07/29/2002

The key to being a ninja is forcing your enemies to sign a contract guaranteeing that they will only attack one at a time. Then, buy some smoke bombs and shuriken.

From: ninjA - 07/29/2002

You should talk to Shinobi Tom.

From: Saruman - 07/29/2002

Violence is never the answer. Perhaps talking with these "bad" fellows will better solve your problems. Differences can usually we worked out by keeping the lines of communication open. But, if that doesn't work, you should just get a gun instead of wasting all that money and time training to be a ninja. Or, get some good running shoes to evade future beat downs.

From: skinnymao - 07/29/2002

Constant beat downs putting you in the dumps? Want to impress your friends with snazzy black outfits cool sharp pointy metal things? Send for my learn-by-mail course "I Want to be a Ninja"! For only $19.95 you will be assasinating annoying enemies in no time!

From: Elroy - 07/29/2002

Yes, No, Maybe So, ask again, don't be slow.

From: slackerkat - 07/29/2002

i think if you send the bazooka bubble gum people 200 comics, they can help you out or at least point you in the right direction...in any case, you can buy x-ray specs....let me know how it works out....

From: blitzkriegbliss - 07/29/2002

your kung fu has no effect on me

From: ShinobiTom - 07/30/2002

I find that being in the right place at the right time helps the right people make the right decisions for me. I became a ninja by luck. If you have it in you, the same will happen to you. And in time if you fail at becoming a ninja, buy a gun. May you some day become a ninja, be strong and flourish.

From: discohog - 07/31/2002

The guy takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out.  The audience will think that the hot babe is a normal babe, but, yeah right, she's a ninja.  The ninja woman smashes the guy's head like a melon.  Then all these dogs come out of nowhere and the ninja woman has to beat the dogs' asses.  First she kicks this one dog right in the nuts.  The dog screams and jumps out the window.  Then she jumps in the air and kicks two dogs in the nuts at once!  Both dogs evaporate.  Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard.  Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog.  The boss dog is huge.  Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog's nuts so hard that the boss explodes.  Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.  

DISCLAIMER: This page is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed or professional counselors. We are offering this advice based on our personal experiences. What you choose to do with this advice is your decision. We are not responsible for your words or actions, or the consequences of them based on your interpretations of our advice. If you think that you may have any type of serious mental illness, you should seek professional counseling.