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FiFiThEpInKsLuT wrote:

My ex, who I dated for about 4 months, asked me out to coffee last week(we've been broken up for almost a year). We went and he took me home after only 30 minutes! I took extra care to not say anything to indicate I was nervous or insecure(that bugged him a lot while we were dating) I thought he cut it short because he thought I was boring or something, then I emailed him asking about it. Here is part of what he emailed back: "i wasnt bored with you at the coffee shop...if you want to know the truth the reason i was acting strange was because i could see how uncomfortable and insecure you were feeling and it depressed the hell out of me. i dont know how i could convince you that there isnt anything at all that you should be insecure about. youre a beautiful girl and enjoyable to be with....the only thing that needs to change is your confidence. i dont mean that in a mean way, but confidence is the most attractive thing in the world and you cant get far without it." After I get confidence, what should I do about him?

From: Sophia - 07/02/2002

I'm actually selling confidence, $20 a jar, lasts 12 hours. side effects include(but are not limited to): nausea, stomach cramps, vomiting, headache, itchy head, burning tongue, fatigue, charlyhorse in the leg, blindness, vertigo, amnesia, whooping cough, colic, fever, chicken pox, diphtheria, increased sweating, and asthma. you're sure to get any boy you want with your new found confidence! e-mail me privately with your credit card numbers, FBI background file, a list of life-threatening allergies, and the name of your family doctor.

From: TheSleepwalker - 07/02/2002

My name is The Sleepwalker. My wife, Jody, and I live in Chicago, IL. I am a cost accountant with a major U.S. corporation and I make pretty good money. When I received the program I grumbled to Jody about receiving "junk mail." I made fun of the whole thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and percentages involved. I 'knew' it wouldn't work. Jody totally ignored my supposed intelligence and jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her, and was ready to lay the old 'I told you so' on her when the thing didn't work... well, the laugh was on me! Within two weeks she had received over 50 responses. Within 45 days she had received over $147,200 in confidence! I was shocked! I was sure that I had it all figured and that it wouldn't work. I AM a believer now. I have joined Jody in her "hobby. " I did have seven more years until retirement, but I think of the 'rat race,' and it's not for me. We owe it all to Sophia's confidence(TM).

From: discohog - 07/02/2002

No matter how they read, most online confidence schemes contain clues that flag them as illegitimate: * Obfuscation -- no contact name, business name, street address, or telephone number to investigate the confidence being advertised. * Outrageous confidence claims, often based not on selling or distributing confidence but on recruiting more "salespeople." * Recitation of federal laws and the challenge to contact law enforcement authorities about legality. * Unsubstantiated testimonials. If the confidence is legitimate, the company will provide references you can call. * No credit card acceptance. Your non-refundable investment will be accepted only in the form of cash, check, or money order, whether it's $5 or $5,000. If you truly believe you've found a confidence product that sounds like the real deal, take just a few minutes to contact the Internet Fraud Watch at 800-866-7160, or the Federal Trade Commission's confidence response line at 209-316-3128.

From: Zotk - 07/02/2002

So, you're saying I should take girls home while the coffee's still warm? Usually I feel obligated to buy her dinner and a movie before I even consider it. Also, guys: this column is a great place to meet unconfident girls. But beware: many of them have plans to get confidence. So, act now!

From: slackerkat - 07/05/2002

i think you are boring.....

From: Elroy - 07/09/2002

Negative. You have a greater chance of beating me at chess.

DISCLAIMER: This page is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed or professional counselors. We are offering this advice based on our personal experiences. What you choose to do with this advice is your decision. We are not responsible for your words or actions, or the consequences of them based on your interpretations of our advice. If you think that you may have any type of serious mental illness, you should seek professional counseling.