Name: Skinny Mao
July, 1976. A bird pulls a worm out of the ground in London,
England. In a nondescript area of rainforest in Brazil, a flower blooms.
On the plains of the Serengeti, a lion yawns after finishing its meal. In
downtown Tokyo, japan, a man ponders what he should eat for dinner. In the
USA, a child is born.
Is this child the lynchpin of human civilization, the savior of all
mankind? Or is he just insane? It is not for you to decide.
April 1980 The child's formalizes his thesis about American culture:
Everything Sucks. More research will follow.
November 1983 As the child grows, it quickly becomes apparent that he was
blessed, having been born without the distractions of being
attractive, athletic or popular, leaving him the time alone to
ponder the fate of makind.
June 1987 Puberty hits hard, but the fight goes on.
May 1988 The child has a snack.
September 1992 The child picks up the bass for the first time, and
begins to work fevershly on perfecting his rock poses.
September 1994 The child, now approaching adulthood, meets the
Sleepwalker and Melosa storm for the first time. The group is in
agreement everything sucks. But refinements to the theory begin to
surface. Does everything suck? Or maybe just one gender?
August 2000 It is decided that after several years of intense
training, the rock poses are now acceptable. The newly dubbed
"Skinny Mao" decides it is time to start actually plucking the
strings.
November 2000 It is offical. Boys Suck.
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