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BOYS SUCK is: Melosa Storm - Keyboard, Vocals Skinny Mao - Bass, Vocals The Sleepwalker - Guitar, Vocals Claudia 8000 - Recording, Signal Processing, Dancing BIO People have said we sound like: The Velvet Underground, The Violent Femmes, The Vaselines, Liz Phair, The Magnetic Fields, Bright Eyes, Weezer, The Meat Puppets, Yo La Tengo, The Doors, The Dead Milkmen...we don't know if any of it is true. The Sleepwalker is wussier than anyone you have ever met and this is amply reflected in his music. He composes wussy pop songs and then makes them even wussier with his candy coated off-key vocals. He does not even eat meat (wuss!). During the course of his wussy life he picked up a guitar and wasn't too much of a wuss to play it…The only non-wussy thing he ever did! Skinny Mao hopes to slash the corporate powers that enslave us and feels that playing wussy pop love songs is the quickest path to his ultimate goal…either that or opening a comic book store. And boy does Skinny play a phat bass – according to him. While on the path to the destruction of the world order as we know it, he is also trying his hand at some not so wussy love songs. Melosa Storm is by far the cutest member of Boys Suck. Hired only for her breasts, she has been trying to make the other members respect her for musical talents. No luck so far. While almost as wussy as The Sleepwalker, she is waging a constant battle with Skinny Mao. Practice time invariably turns into the WWF. Claudia 8000 is the smartest, sharpest, and most essential member of Boys Suck. Without her dancing, the band would crumble to pieces. The Sleepwalker spends most of his time manhandling her...touching her curves....drooling and sweating all over her. If she weren't mute, boy would she have some stories for you! OLD BIO Boys Suck was officially formed in 1/2000 to help celebrate the last year of the Century and the Millennium. The band formed when The Sleepwalker grew tired of the seemingly endless hiatus of Binary Test Record, his previous Gothic Rock outfit. The Sleepwalker had been secretly writing songs that were far too wussy to be expressed via BTR's aggressive style. He sought out others full of as much wussiness as he was. The quest began deep in the icy forests of Wier when The Sleepwalker's spaceship crash landed due to problems with the hypadontical molecules. Luckily, the ice amazon queen, Melosa Storm saved him from the cannibal dolls. She was quite wussy, despite her ability to crush the enemy, see them driven before her, and hear the lamentation of the men. The Sleepwalker and Melosa began composing and writing, but something was still missing. Each was too wussy to get out of bed. Practicing over the phone became difficult. They needed a motivational force. On a subzero January evening, they wandered the streets of Boston seeking inspiration. A naked homeless man approached them. He blurted out, "Gimme a f'in kawter fo' sum moonshiiiiine!" "Sorry, I don't have any money," The Sleepwalker said nervously. Melosa reached for her chakram, but The Sleepwalker shook his head. The urchin was not satisfied and grabbed The Sleepwalker by the scarf. "I SAID...Gimme a f'in kawter fo' sum moonshiiiiine!" Melosa knew this was it. "Do you play bass?" she asked. The urchin didn't answer. He just looked confused. The Sleepwalker chimed in with "Perfect, you're in!" Later, it was determined that the urchin was actually named Captain Buran. That probably isn't his real name, but if you ask him, he might kill you. Buran eventually went missing. He was last seen at a Halloween party wielding a plastic sword and shouting something about cake. Skinny Mao has replaced him for the time being.