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Ask Boys Suck... Return to Advice Menu Devil Horn Hair and Boys Suck Body Parts Dear Boys Suck,   After my wife left me for some freakin' 30something computer geek with a huge paycheck I have gotten kinda wild! I mean not like DRUG USE wild but WILD! I go out and drink a little and dress up all nice in my best shirt and tie and devil horn hair and look for chics! It seems that when I'm really nice to women I don't get lucky or anything! I just get the FRIEND THING! or the YOU'RE SWEET THING! But if I completely ignore people I get RAPED by multiple partners! By no means am I complaining about being raped by MULTIPLE PARTNERS when I'm drunk and unaware BUT!! Say I want to have a nice romantic evening with a soft and sensual woman how the hell do I pull that off? I mean come on! It seems that all these ASSHOLE types, Rednecks, Jocks (not that all of them are assholes but you know the type) can run into bar grab a girl by the arm slap her around a bit call her a bitch and then get laid? WHY IS THIS? Why am I a nice guy and no one cares? And I have an obsession with Malosa's Breasts! And The Sleepwalkers Ass! Does that Mean I'm a little on the odd side? SCROODNDAHED, SCROODNDAHED! Skinnny Mao Says: You are a weirdo. But I know the feeling of being a nice guy and finishing last. My advice would be to become a 30 something computer geek with a big paycheck. Then convince your old girlfriend to cheat on her new boyriend with you. I don't if this really solves any problems, but the irony is just biting, and I love it. The Sleepwalker Says: Damn Mao, I think we have the plot of a fabulous new prime-time TV series. We can call it, Revenge of the Non-nerds or something. Women don't like nice guys. If they did, then the evolutionary chain would have eliminated meanness. Do you think meanness has been eliminated?!? I rest my case. Melosa Storm Says: heheh, you said asshole. Return to Advice Menu DISCLAIMER: This page is for entertainment purposes only. We are not licensed or professional counselors. We are offering this advice based on our personal experiences. What you choose to do with this advice is your decision. We are not responsible for your words or actions, or the consequences of them based on your interpretations of our advice. If you think that you may have any type of serious mental illness, you should seek professional counseling.